So I worked with a woman for a few years. Similar level in the company, etc. She's married. Obviously, I'm married. I don't cheat. Other than the betrayal and shit, it just seems like way too much effort for rando sex.
Anyway, she quits late last year. We were often assigned to similar problems, etc. We had what I would consider a typically platonic work relationship. She leaves, we trade cell numbers (which I had planned to forget I'd done within a week). Get a text like a week later. It's from her. Want to take a walk for lunch some time? Sure, why not. We work in the same area.
This happens a few times, like once a month for 6 months.
Wife finds out. Or I mention it casually. Can't remember. Regardless, I'm just like "honey, it's some chick that used to work where I work. I have no interest" b/c, quite literally, I'm just assuming it's a "hey person that used to work with me and likes walking lunch do you want to walk during lunch and network" type thing.
My wife informs my i'm clueless and that this woman is pursuing me. Again, oblivious. I'm like, "no way, not a chance and again, honey, she's not attractive (4/10)" and again I don't cheat. Wife asks that I stop walking with this woman. Near argument ensues as I (again, still totally naive at this point) continue to point out I'm not doing anything, etc. Then wife says, "yes, honey but she is"
Fine, ghosted. Fast forward like a month and (b/c LinkedIN is for psychos) i see she keeps peeping my profile.
So, you tell me. Was that monkey branching? God, if I ever get divorced I'm becoming single and eccentric.
So I'm practicing in Houston, Texas. Doing med mal. 1999. End up having an expert dep in Chicago of the other side's expert. I have a co defendant, and his lawyer is doing the dep, I'm just observing. We take the dep and I'm supposed to fly out that night, so no luggage, but the co defendant's attorney actually knows the deponent, had worked with him before, and they decide to all go out to dinner on Rush Street. They talk me into staying. I'll get a later flight. Plaintiffs attorney, a middle-aged woman, maybe 60, is pissed (its her expert) but what can she do? But she stays to make sure everything is OK.
We all go out to eat at Gibsons. The doc lives around the corner in the nicest brownstone I've ever seen. We get martinis. We get hammered.
At the time there was a place called Jilly's, so we go over there and keep drinking. I end up dancing with female plaintiffs attorney to some light piano jazz. Eventually, about midnight, everyone goes to their hotels or home except for me and the co defendant lawyer. I have no hotel and have missed all flights so he tells me I can stay at his hotel (no this isn't going there, perverts).
We are both so drunk we can barely walk and we get a cab. As I'm getting in the cab, he disappears and is gone for 5 minutes, only to show back up with two black streetwalkers (the only ones I've ever actually seen in person). He tells me he's paying for them. I do not like this. I'm in the front seat, looking around outside for something to save me, when I see Mike Ditka walking down the sidewalk not 20 feet from me. I watch him walk up to a club that is roped off, and he walks right in, on Rush Street, underneath Jilly's. So I yell in the car "[name withheld for privacy reasons], that's Mike Ditka! Let's go talk to him!" I then exit the cab and walk over and get in line.
The other attorney waits, and then gets out of the cab and tries to talk me into leaving with him, but I tell him no, I'm going to go party with Mike Ditka. He ends up staying with me, we wait, get into the club (it's mid-week) and sure enough, once inside we walk through a dance floor where we see Ditka just kinda standing with his knees bent, an unlit cigar in his mouth, and two 20 somethings dancing and rubbing all over him. As I walked by, I gave him a giant, drunk grin and a thumbs up, and Mike Ditka, THE Mike Ditka, gave me a thumbs up in return.
We had one drink there, I threw up in the bathroom, stayed on the floor until they kicked us out at 2 am or something, and took a cab to OHare to sleep in a chair and try to get on the earliest flight back to Houston. I didn't find out what happened to the co-defense attorney until a few weeks later when we were at another dep together.
@larsiu omg so much to unpack. and YES that is monkeybranching. and your wife was/is spot on in all respects. you can't go for a walk with some random chick AFTER she leaves. good story and you are indeed a good man. but you can't meet up with and go for a walk with a chick like that who already made you her work husband UNLESS you've already decided you're going to get her.
and p.s. i don't have linkedin. but my god i'm glad i don't knowing people can see if you were checking out their profile. jesus. why would anyone have it then. i
So I worked with a woman for a few years. Similar level in the company, etc. She's married. Obviously, I'm married. I don't cheat. Other than the betrayal and shit, it just seems like way too much effort for rando sex.
Anyway, she quits late last year. We were often assigned to similar problems, etc. We had what I would consider a typically platonic work relationship. She leaves, we trade cell numbers (which I had planned to forget I'd done within a week). Get a text like a week later. It's from her. Want to take a walk for lunch some time? Sure, why not. We work in the same area.
This happens a few times, like once a month for 6 months.
Wife finds out. Or I mention it casually. Can't remember. Regardless, I'm just like "honey, it's some chick that used to work where I work. I have no interest" b/c, quite literally, I'm just assuming it's a "hey person that used to work with me and likes walking lunch do you want to walk during lunch and network" type thing.
My wife informs my i'm clueless and that this woman is pursuing me. Again, oblivious. I'm like, "no way, not a chance and again, honey, she's not attractive (4/10)" and again I don't cheat. Wife asks that I stop walking with this woman. Near argument ensues as I (again, still totally naive at this point) continue to point out I'm not doing anything, etc. Then wife says, "yes, honey but she is"
Fine, ghosted. Fast forward like a month and (b/c LinkedIN is for psychos) i see she keeps peeping my profile.
So, you tell me. Was that monkey branching? God, if I ever get divorced I'm becoming single and eccentric.
I hope this wasn't the chick you brought to book club.
So I worked with a woman for a few years. Similar level in the company, etc. She's married. Obviously, I'm married. I don't cheat. Other than the betrayal and shit, it just seems like way too much effort for rando sex.
Anyway, she quits late last year. We were often assigned to similar problems, etc. We had what I would consider a typically platonic work relationship. She leaves, we trade cell numbers (which I had planned to forget I'd done within a week). Get a text like a week later. It's from her. Want to take a walk for lunch some time? Sure, why not. We work in the same area.
This happens a few times, like once a month for 6 months.
Wife finds out. Or I mention it casually. Can't remember. Regardless, I'm just like "honey, it's some chick that used to work where I work. I have no interest" b/c, quite literally, I'm just assuming it's a "hey person that used to work with me and likes walking lunch do you want to walk during lunch and network" type thing.
My wife informs my i'm clueless and that this woman is pursuing me. Again, oblivious. I'm like, "no way, not a chance and again, honey, she's not attractive (4/10)" and again I don't cheat. Wife asks that I stop walking with this woman. Near argument ensues as I (again, still totally naive at this point) continue to point out I'm not doing anything, etc. Then wife says, "yes, honey but she is"
Fine, ghosted. Fast forward like a month and (b/c LinkedIN is for psychos) i see she keeps peeping my profile.
So, you tell me. Was that monkey branching? God, if I ever get divorced I'm becoming single and eccentric.
Feels good to be wanted, eh? I wouldn't know about that at 5'1", 325 lbs., but I can imagine it feels nice after being married for a long time.
It's like the business owner who gets his first inbound interest email from Mangus Wang Capital, a lower middle-market private equity firm. He has no intention of selling, but he likes being liked.
So I worked with a woman for a few years. Similar level in the company, etc. She's married. Obviously, I'm married. I don't cheat. Other than the betrayal and shit, it just seems like way too much effort for rando sex.
Anyway, she quits late last year. We were often assigned to similar problems, etc. We had what I would consider a typically platonic work relationship. She leaves, we trade cell numbers (which I had planned to forget I'd done within a week). Get a text like a week later. It's from her. Want to take a walk for lunch some time? Sure, why not. We work in the same area.
This happens a few times, like once a month for 6 months.
Wife finds out. Or I mention it casually. Can't remember. Regardless, I'm just like "honey, it's some chick that used to work where I work. I have no interest" b/c, quite literally, I'm just assuming it's a "hey person that used to work with me and likes walking lunch do you want to walk during lunch and network" type thing.
My wife informs my i'm clueless and that this woman is pursuing me. Again, oblivious. I'm like, "no way, not a chance and again, honey, she's not attractive (4/10)" and again I don't cheat. Wife asks that I stop walking with this woman. Near argument ensues as I (again, still totally naive at this point) continue to point out I'm not doing anything, etc. Then wife says, "yes, honey but she is"
Fine, ghosted. Fast forward like a month and (b/c LinkedIN is for psychos) i see she keeps peeping my profile.
So, you tell me. Was that monkey branching? God, if I ever get divorced I'm becoming single and eccentric.
I hope this wasn't the chick you brought to book club.
No. i think she can read this so I'll concur she's not a 4
